First, I am not a doctor nor a therapist. I am a person of color, have a degree in English and Race & Ethnic studies, am working on a Masters where my studies focus on equity and creative writing, work in gender and racial equity, and am healing my mental illnesses through therapy. Everything I have learned I have pieced together from books, articles, conversations, etc. This series is more about my journey and reflections than they are ultimate truths. There is no single truth, there are truths, and this is mine. Take what you want here, encourage me and others to grow, take charge of your own mind. I also want to say that even if you have not been diagnosed with a mental illness, everyone has mental health.
For some context, I started unlearning a lot of my internalized racism, sexism, homophobia, etc., about 8 years ago when I was in college (shout out to the incredible teachers of the St. Olaf Race & Ethnic studies department.) A part of me always sensed there was something immensely wrong with the structure of society, but I viewed it more as an individual-to-individual issue and not a systemic problem. I believed that things were rigged, but everyone had the potential to recreate a new life. I bought into the "pick yourself up by the bootstraps" ideology that a lot of BIPOC and POC individuals are programmed to believe in.
As far as my experience in therapy goes, I was diagnosed with ADHD in January of 2018, then GAD (anxiety), depression, and PTSD in February of that year. Much like anti-racist work, mental health and healing is a life long journey. When I started therapy, I was sensitive, angry, depleted, exhausted, frustrated, emotionally constipated. You get the picture. I was in a painful place spiritually, physically, and emotionally and in a lot of ways, this was killing my body slowly.
A lot of my Creative Writing and Publishing Master's work has been studying and examining the nexus between anti-racism, mental health, creative writing, and liberation.
Here are some, but not all, of the ideas that influence my framework:
We are not born with shame, we are taught to be ashamed, and every human being shares the same core desire to feel loved, connected, and cared for.
When human beings communicate in any form, they are externalizing their hopes, desires, and expressing the world they want to live in (and sometimes these are downright harmful, i.e., racists). This means that any form of communication, especially written, is political.
There are stories, and there are narratives, and both create programming in individuals. When we don't heal from these internalized stories and narratives, they become highways of neurology in our brains which keep us stuck
Mental illnesses are a natural coping mechanism of our bodies to protect us. They occur when we experience traumatic events, and also when we are not taught to process our emotions or feelings.
Human brains have neuroplasticity, meaning we have the power to rewire our brains to heal from programming and therefore heal our mental illnesses. We can actually rewrite the world we deserve.
How does this relate to anti-racism work? When you take charge of your mental health you can....sustain your work in the broader movement, process your own guilt and shame without demanding emotional labor from Black people, have better conversations with the people in your life, not martyr yourself for the movement, heal trauma for generations to come, learn to write into existence the world you deserve, and liberate yourself....Just to name a few.
I'll dive into some of these ideas in later posts, and I welcome a conversation with you. This has been a series I wanted to start writing in the Fall of 2019, but haven't gotten around to it. There is no time like now.